I have the strain of influenza commonly known as swine flu.
Came down today, after my girlfriend caught it a few days ago.
And people, I'm not going to die. Well, not today anyway, and not from this.
Nor am I a victim of evil illuminati, or similar organizations.
I am not being sacrifized to prepare the general populace for mass deaths.
I am not being used as milking cattle by the pharmaceutical companies.
I just happen to have caught a fairly mild virus. It's similiar to virus infections I happen to catch about every other year, except that this is even less lethal.
Despite this people seem to have gone stark raving mad with conspiracy theories and media panic, and other such nonsense.
Anyway, seven days sick leave. Could be worse.